Place your hand in mine
by T.J. Wise
Summary: Inspired by the teaser for S3E19. Damon helps Elena rediscover her self, who & what she wants - it's a journey not a destination. Rating 4 safety
1. Harden my soul

AN: I am supposed to be concentrating on painting and focusing my creative output that way, but the more i paint the more stories keep bubbling up! It is not my intention to be mean and leave you lovely readers with lots of starts to stories, but i can't help it. xoxo

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**I've been waitin' in the rain**

**I've been waiting for a feeling**

**That never, ever came**

**It feels so close**

**But always disappears**

**Harden my soul - Quarterflash**

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"Stefan thinks I have feelings for you" – Elena confessed through tremulous lips.

"Do you?"- Damon's breathed, barely able to contain the volatile mixture of hope and dread that squeezed his heart.

Elena looked at him longingly. She wanted to say _yes_ and mean it. She wanted to say _no_ and own it. The truth was that she _honest_ _to God_ did not know the full nature of her feelings. As if to break the silence and the torment of the two waiting hearts, a lonesome tear ran down Elena's cheek. Damon reached for her, pain firing on his every nerve as he captured the tear and rested his palm against her skin.

"Shh" – he whispered unable to see her in pain – "It's ok."

"No _it's not_ Damon." – Elena said brokenly –"I can't answer you because I'm afraid I don't know myself…" – she sobbed closing her eyes in defeat – "My mind is trapped in a pattern of survival, rescue and grief… so I don't know myself anymore…"

"It's ok Elena." – he whispered tenderly –"In time you will know."

Elena raised her eyes to meet his, teary brown eyes against blue loving ones. Damon's love was raw, sincere and all encompassing - it was there on the surface and in the depths of his soul. He bore it like a shinning shield; he wore it like a suit of armor. Damon's love unwavering nature and absoluteness scratched at Elena's heart, begging to be let in.

"Will I?"- she pleaded –"Before it's too late? Before I lose you for good Damon?"

Damon looked at the girl in front of him wondering how she could elicit so much pain and so much love in equal amounts from his dead heart. He had been determined to let her find her way to him. Damon wanted her two take the final step without any tricks or fiendish plots from his side. However, looking at Elena like this, fragile and vulnerable in a way he very seldom saw, he decided that maybe he could help her just a little. He would not tell her what to do, in the end it would still be her decision, but he would be her companion into a journey that should help her see more clearly. Or so he hoped… and if the journey failed in leading her to him, then he would harden his heart and swallow his tears to become whatever she needed him to be.

"Elena…" – Damon whispered lovingly.

"I can't lose you Damon…" – she groaned.

"I know…" – he gave her a tight smile. Damon had been the target of Elena's inability of letting him go for longer than he could remember. Whenever he had tried to put some distance between them she had stubbornly reeled him in. Whenever he had tried to close the distance between them, Elena had held him at arm's length. Never too close, never too far, that was their dynamic and he knew that he had accepted that and was never going to leave her, no matter what.

"Listen" – Damon said with more resolve –"I think I may have a way to help you find out who you are and who you want." – Elena's eyes widened with alarm –"No dirty tricks Elena, I swear." - he offered in order to placate her fears.

Elena nodded stiffly, her eyes cautious but full of trust and her teeth biting on her lower lip as resolve took hold of her.

"Ok. Explain."

Damon had to smile at the return of the girl he loved. Defiant, posed for battle, sadly lacking in self-preservation instincts. He took her hand in his and brought them to the edge of his bed and sat them down. Elena's heart rate accelerated as she faced the possibility that some sexually deviant solution to her problems was what he was about to suggest. Damon smirked knowing the girl too well.

"Relax Elena, and get your mind out of the gutter." – he chuckled and she glared back –"Beds are used for things other than mind blowing sex with yours truly."

Damon wriggled his eyebrows trying to lighten the mood but Elena's frown only deepened so he rolled his eyes meaningfully.

"Dreams Elena, I was thinking of dreams." – he said exasperated.

"Oh?" – Elena blushed slightly and cocked her head intrigued – "You want to manipulate my dreams?"

"No, _no manipulation_ Elena." – Damon was starting to get annoyed – "I was thinking of lucid dreaming, or a walkabout of sorts."

"Uh?" - came Elena's eloquent response.

"You would dream and I would be there with you. I would ensure you where aware and would help you bring things into focus. However, I would _not_ interfere or lead you."

"Is that possible?" – Elena asked uncertain - "And how does that help Damon?"

"You know it is possible Elena, you had dreams were you were aware before right?"

Elena only nodded, a bit lost in scurrying thoughts.

"You are likely to bring to the forefront the issues that are unresolved, those that are hiding behind the veil of your subconscious. Through lucid dreaming and my presence you should be able to help untangle them and find the answers you seek. Because…"

Elena placed a finger on Damon's lips and silenced him.

"Ok." - Elena said with resolve.

"Ok?"- Damon echoed searching her face.

"Ok. How do we start?"

"You go to sleep and I will come to you in your dreams." - he offered.

Elena smiled warmly at that, an amused tender expression playing in her eyes.

"What?" – Damon asked confused.

"My mother used to say that my true love would come to me in my dreams." – she smiled shyly at him, nervously tucking a strand behind her ear and looking down at their joined hands.

"I hope she was right." – Damon replied with a shy smile of his own, hope knocking hard at the door of his heart as he kissed the top of Elena's head –"Time for bed sleepy beauty."

_**TBC**_

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**Hope you liked it :) R&R Please xoxo**


	2. Considerations

AN: Couldn't resist writing another chapter. Can you say hopeless?

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**Our wagon is prepared, and time revives us:**

**All's well that ends well; still the fine's the crown;**  
**Whate'er the course, the end is the renown.**

"All's well that ends well" - Shakespeare

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Elena took much needed, tension relieving, shower in Damon's exquisite bathroom, trying to banish thoughts of him in this same room naked and wet. She tried to shake the sinfully tempting images away. She needed to get her mind in order fast and images like that were absolutely of no help.

For her own benefit, she had agreed to let Damon walk alongside her in the land of dreams. It was a desperate attempt to uncover her true self and a dangerous game to play as it would make Damon privy to a host uncensored thoughts and feelings. Elena knew she should be more worried about what they were about to do, but she was emotionally exhausted form a long sequence of trials that had started with the death of her parents and brought her here. A normal person would look for a less drastic solution but, the only thing she was sure about was that she was _anything_ but normal. So as crazy as the plan was, she wouldn't back down.

Of course Damon had been known to be a selfish, psychopathic, self serving vampire. That alone should make her want to run for the hills before even considering allowing him inside her head. The truth she knew was way more complex than that for Damon's redeeming qualities far outweighed his faults. Above all else, Damon had always put her first, even if it didn't seem so at the time. Keeping her safe was Damon's personal crusade, being honest was his more lethal weapon, loving her was his strongest shield and his weakness. So how could Elena _not_ allow him in? How could she stop him from helping her find out if they were meant to be? The answer was that _she couldn't_; the conclusion was that _she wouldn't_.

With a deep sigh, Elena turned off the shower, enjoying the smell of Damon's body wash emanating from her own skin. The fluffy towel felt comforting and the dark blue T-shirt he had let her borrow reassuring. Elena absentmindedly ran the pads of her fingers over the fabric, bringing back memories of the feel of Damon's lips when she had silenced him earlier. She shuddered in fear of what this "walkabout" might do to him, to his shattered heart she herself had trampled over and over again. Elena ardently hoped that they would uncover that she loved him just as much as he loved her because anything else would mean pain to Damon. And Elena couldn't bear to see pain gracing his handsome features anymore.

She picked up the T-shirt and pulled it over her head, enjoying being enveloped in his scent and making sure it covered her lacy boy shorts so it wouldn't entice Damon too much. It had been a while since she had slept in his bed. It didn't help that the last time had been when he was dying and they shared a kiss.

"Relax Elena, and get your mind out of the gutter." – she repeated Damon's words to herself as she turned off the lights and walked towards the bedroom.

Damon sat in the bed under the covers, naked chest, back resting against the headboard, eyes drinking Elena in when she walked into the room.

"My clothes suit you." – he said in a teasing tone that was full of emotion –"Maybe it's a sign that I suit you too."

"Damon…"

"Elena…"

"Behave." – she said sternly.

Elena made her way around the bed and took the empty spot, pulling the covers up as quick as she could, but not before Damon could get a glimpse of her underwear. He half groaned with frustration.

"It would be a lot easier to behave if you wore more clothing." – he mumbled.

"Well, at least I am not the one practically naked!" – she huffed in annoyance at how he affected her.

Damon chuckled and reached over Elena to turn the light off.

Elena tried to sink further into the mattress as his body grazed hers and his chest hovered too close to her face.

"Elena?" - Damon asked looking down at her.

"Yes?" - her voice a quiet little squeak.

"If we do this, we do it fully. No backing out half way, no short cuts, no running away ok?" - he said seriously.

"Ok." - she nodded solemnly -"So long as you agree to it too."

"I don't understand." - Damon frowned.

"We do this together and you stay till the end. Till you get the whole truth ok?"

"Ok, I promise." - he whispered and turned the light off - "Good night Elena, sweet dreams."

"Goodnight Damon... See you soon." – she mumbled and closed her eyes welcoming the dreams that would follow.

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**I swear this story has decided it needs to be published! It keeps buzzing around my head like a bee! R & R Please**


	3. Unforgivable truths

**Stars shining bright above you;**

**Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you."**

**Birds singing in the sycamore tree.**

**Dream a little dream of me.**

The Mamas & the Papas - Dream a Little Dream of Me

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"_Elena! I am talking to you! Don't you dare ignore me young lady!_"

The voice of Miranda Gilbert brought Elena's thoughts into focus. She snapped her head up, eyes wide as saucers and looked in shock at her mother.

"Don't try to act all innocent Elena. Those big round eyes won't work today. You knew _full well_ tonight was family night and still you snuck out of the window to get drunk with your friends."

"Miranda…" – her father intervened trying to placate the fury of the woman sitting beside him – "She is still young. She is bound to make mistakes."

"Oh _don't you_ take her side Grayson!" – Miranda huffed as she turned her back on Elena and started arguing with her husband.

Elena finally had a chance to look around and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Damon sitting with her on the back of her parents' car. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as her mind reached the dreadful conclusion that she was revisiting the memory of the accident, of the night her parents died. As soon as Elena realized this she started shaking her head desperately.

"Damon I can't."- she whispered in horror.

"Yes you can. We are doing this fully." – he looked at her intently –"We can do this together ok?"

Damon's hand felt like the only real thing as, with tears already streaming from her terrified eyes, Elena nodded. She turned her face to the front of the car, trying to listen to her parent's discussion but not quite able to make out the words. The road ahead was dark and she knew that at any moment they would reach Wickery Bridge and the horror would begin. Elena tried to find some relief in the fact that at least she would be saved by Stefan and that Damon was here with her. As Elena felt the car descend towards the bridge she stole a glance at Damon. His jaw was set, his shoulders tense, his hand wrapped protectively around hers as he focused on the road ahead. Elena saw his eyes widen and his jaw drop making her instinctively turn to look at the road. For a moment she couldn't make out anything but darkness. Suddenly her mother screamed, her father gripped the wheel tight and Elena shrieked when she saw Stefan standing in the middle of the road as the car swerved to avoid hitting him.

Elena's shrieks kept pouring out of her mouth as the car flew through the air and hit the black water. Her mind burned with what she had just saw and she turned to Damon breathlessly.

"Stefan?"- she gulped horrified – "S-te-tefan caused the accident?"

Damon's eyes had tears of his own as the cold water started to fill the car, he barely nodded because he too was shocked by this discovery. Before he could say a word, Elena heard the window by her side crash and next thing she knew she was being pulled from the car by a strong set of hands and a cold solid body.

Elena screams and protests filled the night as she tried to get away to save her parents, but the arms that held her were merciless and dragged her body away from the sinking car. Her parents were dying all over again and her heart sank engulfed with the pain of the memory and the new revealed truth.

When they had reached the shore, Stefan sat her up and examined Elena. She continued to scream but he ignored her in favor of the examination.

"I'm fine!" – she bellowed and cried and sobbed –" Do something! Save them!" – she begged him.

"I can't." – Stefan replied calmly –"It is not part of the plan."

"Plan?" – she screeched bewildered – "What plan? You need to save them! Please! They are drowning! Please!"

"No." – Stefan replied pointedly, crossing his arms against his chest.

Elena got up fuelled by anger and adrenaline and started punching her little fists on Stefan's solid chest.

"No? No?" – she screamed between tears and punches –"Stop it! You need to save them, please!"

Stefan simply stared at her for a while, un-phased by her outburst and her despair. Then he simply wrapped a hand around each of Elena's wrists and stopped her from moving. Elena looked up into his eyes and Stefan irises dilated.

"You will not remember me or what part I played tonight. You will remember nothing before the moment you saw me, only that you were in an accident. Next time you see me, you will feel compelled to get to know me, to love me."

Elena was completely aware that she was being compelled, but at the same time it was as if she was watching everything from afar. She looked to the side to see Damon, then looked ahead again to see her and Stefan in the banks of the river as he compelled her. She felt Damon's hand on her shoulder and looked up.

"Elena, I am _truly_ sorry." – Damon said tenderly. His own heart was breaking at the truth.

"Did you know?" – she asked before she could think about it, only to watch pain shadow his blue eyes.

"Of course not." – he whispered brokenly.

"God Damon…" – Elena sobbed and threw herself into his embrace wailing pitifully.

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**I hope no one hates me too much at this twist of events. R & R, xoxo**


	4. Unravel this broken heart

_AN: I know is unfair to all the other stories but this one just keeps pouring out and i can't help but allow it to. THANK YOU for all the reviews, alerts and story favs. I will reply to the reviews as soon as I can ok? BTW the OMG moment was what happened in the last chapter. I just couldn't wait to push it out so ill have to come up with others for the future. Not to worry, if you read my stories you can probably guess where this story will lead us. xoxo_

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**And there's a storm that's raging **

**Through my frozen heart tonight**

**I spend my time **

**Thinking about you **

**And it's almost driving me wild **

**You don't know **

**How desperate I've become **

**And it looks like I'm losing this fight**

**And there's a heart that's breaking**

**Down this long distance line tonight**

**And if I can't bridge this distance **

**Stop this heartbreak overload**

"Missing You" - John Waite

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Damon held Elena tight to his body as if his embrace could shield her from the onslaught of the truth they had both just learned. He knew his brother was as complex in death as he was in life – a being capable of everything to achieve his intended end if he believed he was right. Still, Damon could not phantom a universe where killing Elena's parents and robbing her of the truth was right.

Strangled sobs rolled of Elena's chest, her shoulders heaving from the pain consuming her very being as she hid her face into Damon's protective chest. Her mind was reeling, fighting between what she knew and what she thought she knew. Trying to separate the truth from the lies, desperate to find any grain of truth to what she had believed for so long. Elena's wretched soul was disintegrating in waves of self doubt, recrimination and pure unadulterated pain. The only things keeping her together were the arms that held her tight. She looked up to see Damon's intense worried gaze, pain etched on his own features demanding almost as much attention as his blue eyes. He hadn't known about Stefan's deceit, it was clear from the way the betrayal was hurting him too. And yet, Elena had accused him, her mouth faster than her heart, ...she had cruelly accused him.

"I'm _so_ sorry Damon…" – she sobbed – "I shouldn't have asked you if you knew."

"It's ok Elena. I understand why you felt the need to."

Elena was going to protest but her attention got diverted as she noticed their surroundings for the first time since raising her head from Damon's chest. The scene was disconcertingly hard to describe. At first glance it seemed like the two of them were caught in the eye of an ominous hurricane. As Elena's eyes widened and patterns because discernible she could see moving images spinning furiously around. As she focused on one blur or another, it would slow down and she could see it more clearly for what it was. A gasp got caught in her throat and her hands tightened instinctively against Damon's forearms but her eyes never left the swirl of memories.

"Damon?" – she whispered dazedly – "What's happening?"

She felt his thumbs caress her skin soothingly as his hand held her anchored to him.

"I would venture a guess that your mind is trying to re-process all your memories of my brother." – he answered quietly.

"Why would it do that?" – Elena asked bewildered and turned to face him –"Why would I want to do that?"

"Because…"- Damon took a deep sigh wanting her to reach the conclusion herself – "You just gained a piece of information that changes everything."

"So?" – Elena asked again because she could not see what was the benefit of a "Best & worse Stefan and Elena moments" recap.

"Your brain is re-calibrating Elena... Re-accessing all your moments together in view of what you know."

"I don't want to do this now Damon." – Elena said stubbornly – "I just learned that the man that I thought saved me. That the vampire that rescued me from the darkness and loved me above all else… that, that _he_ is the cause of it all!" – Elena shrieked letting her emotions win over and closing her eyes – "He was supposed to be my clean break, my salvation from myself, from given in into all that is evil." – Elena wailed.

"Evil like me…" – Damon echoed.

Elena's head snapped up, he eyes brimming with fresh tears, her lips a trembling thin line.

"Like I thought you were, yes…" – her hand moved to cup his cheek – "Like I know you are not." – she said firmly.

"Thank you." – Damon whispered with feeling into her hand.

"Damon…" – Elena murmured –"I want to go home."

Her eyes were so full of tears that Damon could feel his resolve weaken, but he would be doing her no favors if they abandoned this quest now.

"You know we cannot do that Elena."

Elena heaved a sigh.

"I can't… _I won't_ relive any more memories like that." - she pouted and looked away like a petulant child.

"I understand" – Damon said pulling her chin back towards him –"From now on let's just watch ok? You don't need to be inside the memory to learn from it."

"Thank you…" – Elena mumbled gratefully and leaned on his chest, her arms wrapped securely around his waist and her eyes trained on the swirling memories.

"Anytime." – Damon replied against her hair as he softly kissed the top of her head.

"What now?"- Elena asked uncertain.

"Pick one."

"One what?" – Elena pushed away and looked at him confused.

"Pick a memory." – Damon replied soothingly waving his hand at the blurry images twisting around them.

"Oh…" – Elena breathed with dread.

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**Hope you liked it. R&R people so that i know i am on the right track here. Cheers. xoxo**


	5. See under my skin

_AN: The chapters are becoming a little harder to write. It's probably due to my state of mind so hopefully it will get easy again. Thank you all for the reviews, alerts and faves. xoxo_

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**There's so much here**

**That I don't understand**

**Your face saving promises**

**Whispered like prayers**

**I've been treated so wrong**

**Contempt loves the silence**

**It thrives in the dark**

**With fine winding tendrils**

**That strangle the heart**

**The sadness**

**Angel sweet**

**Love of my life**

**I'm a slow dying flower**

**Frost killing hour**

**The sweet turning sour**

**And untouchable**

**Do you remember the way**

**That you touched me before**

**All the trembling sweetness**

**I loved and adored?**

**Well, is it dark enough?**

**Can you see me?**

**Can you reach me?**

**Or I'm leaving**

**Oh, I mean it**

_"My skin" – Nathalie Merchant_

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Elena berated herself internally for having agreed to this insane subconscious walkabout. She couldn't even have the satisfaction of blaming Damon for how things had turned out, but in her defense, the only danger she had foresaw was Damon seeing too much. How could she have been prepared for uncovering things that she herself didn't know? She wished she could be anywhere but here, trapped in the land of dreams and having to relive a stream of memories that she no longer trusted to be safe. The only saving grace was the vampire holding her; the man that she could depend upon to always save her from danger, even if the danger was herself. Elena leaned further into Damon's chest in acknowledgement, depending on his arms to keep her grounded and sane.

Thinking about Stefan's betrayal made anger boil inside of her and it strengthened her resolve. Elena took a deep breath and let her chin jut out as she trained laser beam like eyes on the revolving memories, ready to allow one to jump out and come into focus.

"I can do this." – she mumbled to herself.

Damon's arms subtly tighten around Elena as a memory was singled out and expanded herself in full glorious Technicolor in front of them.

Elena was in the front of the boarding house knocking when the door magically opened itself. The shadowy inside immediately contrasting against the sunny day outside as Elena tentatively walked into the corridor calling Stefan's name.

"Hey, I know what comes next!" – Damon whispered sounding like an excited child sharing a secret because he was, finally, part of one of her memories.

A gust of wind made "memory Elena" jump and then turn to practically walk into Damon. Elena had to suffer through watching herself blush and go all wide eyed as a younger version of herself took in the sight of Damon for the first time.

"You _liked_ me" – Damon whispered in her ear and Elena waved him off like a fly, determined not to fuel the glee in his voice.

She couldn't hide the deep sigh that escaped her lips as she watched "memory Damon" bend down and kiss her hand. Damon leaned his head on her shoulder and echoed the sentiment with a sigh of his own.

"Oh goodie."- Damon intoned, voice laced with sarcasm -"Here comes Saint Stefan making his best "I'm constipated impression". The audiences go wiiiild."

Elena had to chuckle at this.

"He did look constipated didn't he?"

Damon sweetly kissed her hair and nuzzled his chin back on Elena's shoulder. The awkward interlude with Stefan seemed irrelevant, so Elena decided to wish the memory away and it was reabsorbed into the hurricane..

"Well that was pointless." – she huffed annoyed.

"On the contraire" – Damon quipped –"I think it was very telling."

"Whatever." – Elena said dismissively but not as annoyed as she wanted to sound.

"You liked me." - Damon purred into her ear – "Before Saint Stefan filled your head with all the bad press, you actually liked me."

"Oh, get over yourself." – she answered as she narrowed her eyes and allowed another memory to come to focus.

As soon as the memory expanded Elena groaned with frustration realizing what memory had been conjured.

She and Stefan where seating in her car on the boarding house driveway. Stefan was giving her the "it's not you, it's me" speech that was meant to convince her that she was better off without him in his life. He had in many ways been right, or at least he had been right in context. At that point they all thought that he was the sole cause of the vampiric activity around her.

"Liar" – Elena hissed.

"Actually, I thought he was being rather sweet ..."- Damon commented in a quiet voice.

"Don't you dare take his side!" – Elena turned to glare at Damon –"Or would you have me forget he killed my parents? Also, it would only be sweet if we assume he didn't know about the whole doppelganger fiasco. At this point I will not assume anything."

Damon chose not to reply and Elena, not having whom to pick a fight with, returned her attention to the memory that had continued to play on. They both watched as Elena declared her love for Stefan - Damon's body tensing up behind her – and he walked back towards her to wrap her in a loving kiss. Damon was starting to wish someone would pour acid into his eyes as he watched his brother passionately kiss Elena and the way she was melting against him. He was just about to say something snarky when the scene in front of him made his jaw unhinge in surprise.

"_Stefan, don't hide from me."_

Elena's reassuring and tender voice making his brother turn around in full vampire mode as the girl watched him mesmerized and lovingly.

"Elena?" – Damon's rasped voice made her look at him curiously -"You… you didn't mind the fangs?"

Elena cocked her head a little and reached a hand to Damon's face tracing her thumb under his eye where the veins would show.

"It's part of who you are. So no Damon, I don't mind."

Damon's heart leaped as he noticed she said "who you are" not "who he is", not "who Stefan is". Elena recognized the light shinning in his eyes and returned a sweet smile before looking back at the memory and realizing that she was about to be very naked very soon.

"Oh God!" – she yelped and the memory blurred and went into fast forward mode.

"Hey!" – Damon protested.

"You didn't need to see it Damon. That was private."

"What? No, it might be the closest I ever get to "seeing it"" – he raised his voice losing a bit of his composure.

"I wouldn't want to risk you squeezing me too death Damon!" – Elena replied knowingly – "And you don't know if this is the closest you will get to "seeing it", so just shut up." – Elena said in a mock annoyed tone.

"Promises, promises…" – Damon leered at her –"One of these days Elena, your credit is going to run out and I am going to collect." – he leaned dangerously close to her mouth –"With interest."

The lips were a breath away, his blue eyes looking deep into hers and Elena gulped audibly. She felt like a woman on a ledge, the vertigo making her want to jump and only the sound of screeching tires broke the spell as they both turned back to the memory to see Elena's car topple over.

"Here's where the hero enters." – Damon's voice echoed with a tinge of emotion–"To save the lovely damsel in distress."

Elena breathed a sigh of relief and sunk into his embrace. This memory would be ok. There was nothing to fear from it right? Right?

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**Hope you guys liked it. Sorry if it is a bit of a slow burn and the lemons are still in the future. I am trying to get Elena to snap out of her "It will always be Stefan" madness. R&R please? xoxo**


	6. Knights and monsters

**AN: Sorry to have been gone for so long. Not only I was busy but I had to figure out how to go about telling the rest of this story. The big decision was between retelling every single DElena word and scene or… Well, I went for the "or", hope you guys don't mind. xoxo**

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Elena watched in rapture as a tender and concerned Damon rescued "memory Elena" from the upside-down car. She couldn't think of anything sweeter than him playing knight in shining armor. She smirked lovingly at the thought of Damon's soft caring side. The eternal bad boy, the vampire extraordinaire, was all furrowed brown and concerned eyes. The way he held 'memory Elena' sent shivers up and down 'dream Elena's' spine. It was protective, somewhat possessive, full of reverence and completely at odds with the image she had of Damon at the time. Elena wondered how she would have reacted if she had known that side of him existed back then. Damon could hear Elena's heartbeat speeding, her breath a little out of sorts as she watched them interact. A smile spread on his lips at the possibilities. All of sudden the memory went dark.

"What happened?" – Elena turned to him concerned and slightly panicky.

"You fainted." – Damon answered simply brushing his hand against her cheek lovingly – "Ergo no memory."

"Oh, of course…" – Elena said pensively, remaining lost in thought.

"If you want to, one day you can watch my memory of it ok?"

Elena grinned up at him. It was incredible how sometimes it seemed like he could read her mind.

"That would be cool. Can we do that?"

"We can do anything you want babe."– Damon smiled back –"You know… I love how your memories of me are always slightly warm in color."

"Are they?" – Elena asked surprised looking at him with furrowed brows –"Really?"

"Ye-p!" – Damon grinned with a self satisfied expression.

"Oh get over yourself!" – Elena laughed.

"You keep saying that." – he wiggled his eyebrows at her - "Curiously, those with baby bro have a cold blue tinge. Very very interesting!" – he said conspiratorially, broadening his smirk and making Elena squirm in his arms.

"Ok, next memory" – Elena breathed, turning around to hide her blush –"Hopefully this one won't add to your big as life ego!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." – Damon chuckled.

The new image unfolded in front of them and it took Elena less than a second to recognize it and hide her face instinctively in Damon's chest. The memory vanished as he wrapped his arms protectively around her, petting her hair with slow strokes.

"What memory was that?" – Damon asked cautiously noticing her trembling body.

"Ste-tefan…Stefan biting me…" – came her response in a muffled sob –"I-I couldn't do it."

"Shhh, shhhh, is ok. I had no idea that it had scared you that much."

Elena just nodded into his chest.

"No more 'blue' memories Damon… No more Stefan, or Klaus or dying memories whatever color they may be...Please?"

Damon kissed the top of her hair, smoothing the long tresses down.

"Ok, not today."

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**More coming soon. R&R and make me ha-ppy! xoxo**


	7. Selfless lies

**An: Only another 3 or 4 chapters to go. I'm half waiting, half dreading tonight's new chapter. Originally I hadn't counted on Damon and Elena having that make out session in the motel (rudely interrupted by Jeremy), so this story was going to rejoin the TV series, but now I don't think I can do that. Especially because to me it makes absolutely no sense that Elena would ask Stefan to take her to the roaring 20's dance! Ok, I get the nostalgia part, but she has just kissed Damon (how can she still be in denial?) and e-ve-ry-one knows that the 20's is when Stefan was in full ripper mode. So is Elena saying that she's ok with that? Just a thought!**

* * *

"Ok, Come on, try another memory" – Damon said patiently.

Elena shook her head into his chest stubbornly.

"Elena… We are not done yet." - he said sternly.

Damon's voice was a bit off and that made her suspicious, so Elena snapped her head up and eyed him wearily. She studied his features and an idea occurred to her.

"Do you happen to have a destination in mind Damon."

He gave her a very sheepish smile before repeating.

"Try another memory Elena."

Elena took a deep breath, pressing her lips together and leaned away from Damon in the direction of the swirl. Curiously two memories seemed to be trying to break free and Elena concentrated on the one that looked the less defined.

To Elena's confusion, as soon as the memory came into focus, Damon's body stiffened behind her.

"This is it isn't it?" –she asked looking at him with narrowed eyes. His lack of reply and the way he swallowed hard was all the answer she needed.

Intrigued, Elena turned to watch the memory . She was in her room, coming out of the bathroom and had just noticed Damon seating by her window. It looked like the night after she had been rescue from Rose.

"Cute PJ's" – his voice filled the awkward memory silence. Elena looked up at her Damon with questioning eyes and he winced.

"I'm tired Damon." – 'memory Elena' said wearily and 'dream Elena' turned her attention to the foreign memory once more.

"I brought you this." – 'memory Damon' said, showing her necklace.

'Dream Elena' leaned instinctively a bit further away from Damon's hold and he loosened his arms from around her frame.

"I thought it was gone." – 'memory Elena' breathed confused as her counterpart unconsciously stood up to better look at the memory –"Thank you."

In the memory, Elena reached for the necklace but Damon moved it out of her reach.

"Please give it back." – 'memory Elena' pleaded suspicious.

"I just have to say something."

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" –'memory Elena' asked and 'dream Elena spared a suspicious glance of her own to a very guilty looking Damon.

Elena's mind was screaming at her, wondering why she couldn't remember this and almost knowing why but not wanting to really know it.

"Because what I am about to say is probably the most selfish thing I said in my life." - 'memory Damon' confessed.

'Dream Elena' watched with wide eyes, rapid heartbeat and full on incredulity as Damon declared his love for 'memory Elena', _declared his love for her_. Elena's whole body trembled as she witnessed him opening his heart and pouring his soul out. No pretenses, no masks, no games, only the pure truth, plain and simple, shinning from his eyes, pouring from his mouth. It was a glorious moment, a beautiful moment, and Elena's eyes filled with tears, mourning the fact that this memory of all memories had remained lost for so long. 'Memory Damon' explained why, but Elena knew he was wrong, he _did _deserve her love, he did deserve to be loved.

The memory came to a close, back to the moment she remembered. Elena took a deep breath to steady herself. Her legs felt weak, her heart thudded against her rib-cage and her breath was ragged. She was both full of joy and full of sorrow, it was partly for her sake, but a lot more for the sake of Damon and the pain she had seen reflected in his eyes as that lonely tear rolled down his cheek. With a resolve and a courage she did not feel, Elena turned around to face him. Damon stood there, all tension and insecurity, fear rolling in waves, braced for her wrath. Elena shook her head sadly, lips tight as her heart felt at the moment.

"You shouldn't have taken that memory away." – she whispered brokenly.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Elena…" – his voice was bordering on desperation –"But I also had not right to tell you how I felt… You were in love with _my brother_ Elena… I wanted what was best for you…._You know I will always choose you_."

Elena took another deep breath, tears flowing freely down her cheeks, arms wrapped around herself, and nodded.

"I swear it was the only time i used compulsion on you Elena." - he pleaded and she believed him instantly.

She unpinned her eyes from his blue ones and looked around herself noticing the new whirlwind forming around her.

"Damon…"- she breathed scared, looking at him alarmed but he only smiled.

"You are re-calibrating again Elena. But I'm here, you will be ok." – he reassured her.

Elena nodded, catching his eyes for a second and them returning her gaze to the swirl of memories. She trusted him implicitly; even if she had just found out he had compelled her. Because his compelling had been done out of love, to protect her and it was selfless. Not at all like Stefan's compelling. So Elena's trust in Damon was intact, if not even stronger than it was before. However, she was feeling very scared despite his assurances. She was no longer safe in his arms and dream or no dream, they were now separated by a wall of memories. Elena was alone in the middle of the hurricane and she could just about make out his silhouette on the outside.

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**How do you like it? More next week xoxo**


	8. A bank of clouds

**AN: Ok, S3 E20 was not bad…not good either. Is Elena a vampire now? Oh well… We will see. At least that would take care of the whole "the unchosen Salvatore will skip town" stupid idea.**

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Elena felt like Dorothy at the beginning of The Wizard of Oz and she was dead certain she was going to be swept up in the vortex of her own memories. She knew that her ruby slipper, namely Damon, was too far away from her skin. Meaning that she could not go home until she saw this through. No, her anchor, her guide, _her Damon_, stood on the other side of the whirlwind and he was powerless to protect her from her own self… Elena had to laugh at that thought. When she looked back, she realized that it seemed that ever since they had met that that had been Damon's main role: _the protector of Elena Gilbert_. Everything else seemed secondary; his being a vampire, a man, a tease, an ass, a brother, a friend… _Everything_ was secondary to his primary role: protect Elena Gilbert from everything, _but above all_, protect Elena Gilbert from her own stubborn, self-sacrificing self.

For the next five minutes Elena simply couldn't stop laughing. She was borderline hysterical, her nerves frayed, her mind caught between game changing truths and the fear of embracing her true feelings. She could feel the memories floating around her like hummingbirds. Elena's thoughts scattered in a thousand directions, but she wouldn't,_ she couldn't_, look up yet. She held her midsection with both hands fully aware that her laughter was out of place. At the same time it was paradoxically an emotional relief to feel strongly about something that wasn't connected to the fear of dying.

"Stefan" – she breathed in a mix of sorrow and anger.

He had been the light at the end of the tunnel, the sunrise after the longest of nights. When she "met" Stefan she had been lost in a world of self pity, mourning and depression…Then he had come along and hope had crept into her heart, followed by love of the sweetest kind… Of course, that had in turn been followed by supernatural insanity from then on. Elena shook her head…Had it all really been a lie? His boyish smiles, his love, _their love_, was it all a lie? Rationally Elena knew her savior was the one that had inflicted the wound in the first place…That knowledge seemed to sour her perceptions of Stefan and bring up a cacophony of questions. Still Elena couldn't fully embrace hating him…Well, not at least until she sat down and talked to him to clarify and purge… Stefan had once teased her about her over forgiven nature when it came to his brother. Elena guessed he would be glad that for once her nature would work for his benefit.

Elena's own laughter rang intrusively in her ears. She hadn't stopped her hysteric fit whilst thinking of Stefan. It was as if her body had short-circuited, so she tried concentrating on calming herself down little by little. Elena tried to bring the panic level to acceptable by convincing her brain that Damon would never let any harm come to her. It stood to reason then, that this dream walkabout was not a physical treat to her at least. She wasn't so sure how emotionally safe she was however, but she reasoned that if she had survived the truth of her parents death, nothing else could be, hopefully, that shocking. With that thought cemented in her brain Elena let the laughter die out. She slowly stood up to her full height, raised chin, lifted arms and gave the memories permission to engulf her in their truth.

Damon watched the transformation from the other side. He had been worried at first, his knee jerk reaction, his instinct, to save her, to protect her, to breach the distance and wrap his arms around the girl he loved. He kept himself from doing it by holding on to the belief that this was _her_ walkabout, _her_ epiphany and that she could do it without him. The truth however was that he was terrified of the outcome of this journey… of what it meant to them. There had been already two terrible surprises that had nearly overwhelmed Elena. Damon had been prepared for her undoing his compulsion, he had rather hoped for it, for he was tired of living with that lie. What he was having a hard time with, _what he would never be ready to accept,_ was what he found out about his brother. It raised so many questions, so many doubts and pain within him that Damon was avoiding thinking about it until Elena was safe back in his arms. He watched her like a hawk, his muscles tense like a panther about to pounce. With relief he heard the hysterical laughter die out and resolve color her stance. His brave girl was back, poised for battle, embracing the memories and taking charge of her life.

As Elena raised her head, she narrowed her eyes at the memories. Then she extended her arms and beckoned them to hit her and do their thing. As soon as she surrendered, she felt like she was in the middle of a noisy crowd - her memories all playing out at the same time and out of order. Elena's ears picked snippets of conversation here and there, stringing them together into a new pattern. Damon's voice seemed to be prevalent in the memories and that made her smile in comfort. Elena's eyes caught glances of the various memories playing around her. Damon seemed to feature quite prominently in many of them and that made her smile widen.

…"I will always choose you." …  
…Damon twirling her at the 60's decade dance …  
… "Morning Sunshine" …  
… Damon being attacked by Lexi's boyfriend …  
… "You are good at this." her own voice echoed …  
… Damon kissing her hand the first time they met. …  
… "You feel it too" …  
… Damon killing Lexi …  
… "I can't lose you" …  
… Her slapping Damon in the school's car park after Stefan gave her the necklace …  
… "You don't eat pickles? What's wrong with you?" …  
… Damon offering to help compel Jeremy's pain away …  
… "You and I we have something" – her voice again –"An understanding." …  
… Damon's reaction at finding her and Stefan digging the grave, his pain at her betrayal …  
… "You need to leave, now." …  
… Damon breaking Jeremy's neck …  
… "I am not Stefan!." …  
… Damon broken after they found out there was no Katherine in the tomb and the feel of his body against hers …  
… "Can I trust you?" …  
… Damon with Caroline …  
… "If I am going to feel guilty, I'm going to feel guilty about this." …  
… Damon force feeding her his blood …  
… "If you come back as a vampire I'll stake you myself. I can't stand the idea of you hating me forever." …  
… Damon kissing her for the first time …  
… "I feel Elena ok? And it sucks." …  
… Damon with Rose …  
… "I love you" …  
… Damon with Alaric …  
… "I don't deserve you but my brother does." …  
… Damon helping her rescue Stefan from the tomb vampires …  
… "I kissed you, thought you kissed me back, doppelganger high jinx ensued. How do you think I feel?" …  
… The Georgia car trip …  
…"It's your party. You can cry if you want to" …  
… Damon dying from the werewolf bite …  
… "What changed your mind Elena?" …  
… Damon taking an arrow on his back for her …  
…"You do not get to make decisions anymore." …  
… Damon trying to protect her from Elijah …  
… "Who is going to save your life while you are out making decisions?' …  
… Damon practically naked …  
… " I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having fun. I wanted it to be real." …  
… Damon tortured by Rebekah …  
… "I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it." …  
… Damon rescuing her from Rose and Trevor …  
… "Sorry I cannot unhinge my mouth like a snake to consume alcohol." …  
… Damon with Andie …  
… "Well, you are not the worse company in the world Elena. You should give yourself more credit." …  
… Damon rescuing her from the car crash …  
… "You would have liked me back then" …  
… Damon handing her a rose …  
… "I like you. You know how to laugh and you make Stefan smile which is something I haven't seen in a very long time." …  
… Them dancing together at the Miss Mystic Dance …  
… "I'm sorry about Katherine" – her voice again –"You lost her too." …  
… Damon biting Bonnie …  
… "Don't ever do that again." …  
… Damon feeding her his blood in exchange for the Salvatore journal …  
… "Elena, look at me. Focus. Look at me." …  
… Damon pushing her in the water …  
"Right now we just need to get through this" …  
… Damon helping her track down Stefan …  
… "It's right, just not right now." …  
… Damon training with her …  
… "I got moves you've never seen" …  
… The times she found him on her bed …  
… "What's your big plan Elena? You are going to walk into a campsite full of werewolves, roast a marshmallow and wait for Stefan to stop by?"…  
… Damon with Rebecca after she tried killing her …  
…"I'll help you bring him back." …  
… Damon taking her away from the hospital …  
… "Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him to you I want you to remember the things you felt whilst he was gone." …  
… The many times he returned her necklace …  
"No compulsion. I need to remember all of it." – her voice echoed determined" …  
… Damon teaching her how to find a Vampire's heart …  
… "I shouldn't have left. I promise you I will never leave you again." …  
… Damon applying first aid to her burns …  
… "I'll do whatever it is you need me to do Elena. No one is going to hurt you. Especially not my brother" …  
… Damon angry at Stefan's betrayal …  
… "Or you and I will have ourselves a vampire girlfriend" …  
… Damon keeping her on house arrest …  
…"We''ll survive this. We always survive. Trust me." …  
… Damon provoking Alaric at the bachelor's auction …  
… ''No Elena, I will not go to the bedroom with you.'' …  
… Damon and Stefan inside the tomb …  
… "You ask I come. I'm easy like that" …  
… Damon's reaction when Isobel revealed he loved her …  
… "I need to be able to get in and to get out. I can't be distracted with your safety." …  
… Damon handing over the Gilbert device because she asked him to trust her …  
… "Did you know that I am one of Mystic Falls more eligible bachelors? …  
… Damon waiving as the float passed by …  
… "I would quit cheerleading if I were you." …  
… Damon biting her against the backdrop of "Gone with the wind" …  
… "Vampires can't procreate. But we love to try." …  
…"What makes you think that it has any power over me? Just because I took an arrow on my back for you? You are severely overestimating yourself." …  
… Damon drunk and pissed…  
…"You are not going to be able to hate me forever." …  
… Damon playing charades with Mason Lockwood …  
… "You have every right to hate me. I understand. You hated me before and we became friends. It would suck if that was gone forever. Is it? Have I lost you forever?" …  
… Damon checking her for injuries …  
… "You used me today. I thought that friends don't manipulate friends. You and Katherine have a lot more in common than just your looks." …  
… Damon hurt …  
… "I was faking it" her voice echoed "So was I" he replied

Elena felt light headed…it was too much! Damon's love, his devotion, his passion… it colored every single one of those floating memories. Damon's presence was as steady as a heartbeat. His unwavering constancy, despite her pushing him away over and over again, a slap in the face. SO much love, so much passion, so much hurt… So much denial…

"Too much" - she breathed before collapsing in a heap on the ground.

"Elena!" – she could hear a voice very very far away –"Elena!" – the voice was urgent, pleading and full of worry – "Talk to me babe."

Elena wanted to reply but she felt disconnected from her body, unable to move or communicate… Time seemed to drag on and the sounds around her were hard to discern. After what seemed like an eternity a new angry voice interjected and Elena could feel herself getting closer to the surface.

"What did you do to her?" – Stefan hissed.

"Lucid dreaming…" – the first voice answered uncertainly – "I didn't expect it to be so hard on her."

"Damon, I swear that if…"

"Shut up!" – Damon growled – "You lost the right to say anything!"

"What?" – Stefan replied aghast trying to grasp at why his brother would be so angry at him – "Why? Because you decided that she is your toy not mine? Elena is not a toy Damon!"

"No Stefan. She isn't. But I will never let you near her after what you've done!" - he bit back.

"What is it that you think that I've done now?" – Stefan asked worriedly.

"D-Damon…" – Elena croaked, opening her teary eyes but unable to find the strength to move.

Damon's eyes bore down onto hers, all his attention on her and nothing else.

"Hey" – he whispered softly, stroking her cheek lovingly.

"Elena?" – the second voice enquired and with a shiver down her spine she finally recognized it was Stefan's.

Stefan reached out to place a hand on her shoulder and her body convulsed in reaction. The tears in her eyes became a constant stream down her cheeks and she shivered in dread before fainting again. Her ex-boyfriend couldn't understand the signals coming from her body. They had been on the road to making up, of knowing each other again, why was she reacting to him as if he was still the ripper? He looked from her to Damon with questioning eyes.

"You need to leave." – Damon said firmly.

"I-I don't understand…"

Damon took a deep breath and hugged Elena more tightly against his chest. Using her body to remind him that Elena was his priority, that Stefan's judgement day could wait.

"Trust me, you need to leave for a couple of days Stefan. Elena and I have found some truths in her walkabout and we _really_ cannot deal with you right now."

"Damon?" – he asked confused.

"I'm serious Stefan. This is not about stealing your girlfriend. Is about damage control and ensuring that she will still want to be around any vampire when she wakes up."

Stefan looked at his brother and was at a loss for words...

"If I leave, will you explain later?"

"I promise." – Damon breathed –"Now go pack and I'll call Caroline to come and collect you."

"Caroline?" – Stefan was getting more confused by the minute.

"I know how good you are at brooding Stefan. There is no way I'm leaving you alone. You and Barbie are going to Elena's cabin and sit put ok?"

"Ok…" - Stefan said hesitantly - "I hope you know what you are doing."

"I hope so too…"

"And Damon,"- Stefan looked at him with hard eyes –"If this is a trick… "

"I truly wish it was Stefan…" - Damon said with a sigh -"But I'm all out of tricks brother...This time I am flying blind."

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**Ok, I hope you guys liked it. I spent forever trying to figure out how to make Elena relive her Damon memories. R & R and make me happy! xoxo**


	9. Let's start again

**AN: _Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the lovely reviews! I have been trying to reply to them but sadly sometimes O fall behind and other times I never get there. But I am very very appreciative of the feedback. _**

**Truthfully, I have been having a hard time writing at the moment because, honestly, I am a bit disenchanted with TVD... I am hoping it wont be the case when the new season starts, but it is really killing my muse at the moment. However, this story is so dear to me and I don't want to disappoint you guys, so I wrote this chapter as a peace offering. It is by no means the end, but it is a probable pause. Meaning that unless I get really inspired, there are probably not going to be any updates until mid July. But I promise this story will be completed eventually. xoxo**

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They say the devil's water - it ain't so sweet  
You don't have to drink right now  
But you can dip your feet  
Every once in a little while

**The Killers - When You Were Young **

"You are no fun Elena..." – Damon teased –"Wake up sleepy head."

His voice was a weak attempt at sounding nonchalant but his body's tension betrayed him. Elena had fainted more than 40 minutes ago and every second of waiting had been pure torture for the vampire. Damon relished on the proximity of their skins, on being able to pet and caress the beautiful girl in his arms. He nuzzled into her neck, bringing her tighter into his arms, losing himself into her silky brown tresses. It was heaven to be this close, it was hell to have her this unresponsive.

Elena stirred a little in Damon's arms. Small frown lines crinkling her nose and forehead and making him smile adoringly. No one could bring out the sweet side of Damon like Elena. The girl made the otherwise murderous vampire as harmless as a puppy just by breathing.

Elena opened her eyes groggily and was met by Damon's face etched with concern and love. She felt the way he held her tenderly, protectively, and a small smile formed in her lips. She reached her hand up to cradle his cheek and Damon closed his eyes as he leaned into her. Elena let her thumb caress his cool skin and she could practically see the tension ebb away from his body. It had always surprised her that someone that had lived so long and was almost indestructible could always get so tense whenever her fragile human life was in danger. But Elena had always known that for Damon she was it and that when you love as much as he did, one's heart no longer lives in you, it lives in and with the person you love. Damon's heart, therefore Damon's life, immortal or not, was dangerously teetered to hers, the fragile little human with no self preservation. Elena tensed thinking of the responsibility of it… of being the keeper of Damon's volatile heart. She wasn't afraid of it, ok, maybe a little. What Elena was was mortified at how badly she had treated the gift Damon had given her. Damon, feeling her tense up opened his eyes and cocked his head to look at her. Elena smiled at him, a new emotion he could not quite name in her eyes as she ran her thumb over his lips. Damon bent down and Elena's breath caught, but instead of the kiss she anticipated, Damon simply placed his forehead against hers.

"Hey you" – he breathed.

"Hey…"

"You had be worried sick Elena…"

"Sorry?"

"How are you feeling?"

Elena blushed a little.

"Hungry?"

Damon chuckled and Elena wondered if he could read her mind blushing further. Well, she hadn't lied, not really. _She was hungry_, for food… but also... hungry for him.

Elena squealed as she felt herself being carried at vampire speed out of the room and into the kitchen. Damon placed her carefully on the kitchen counter with a sweet peck to her cheek and started dashing between the hob, the fridge and the pantry in a constant blur making Elena dizzy. In what seemed like seconds she had a glass of refreshingly cold orange juice in her hand, delivered with another sweet kiss before Damon was off again. She drank the orange liquid greedily as the smell of freshly brewed coffee started to fill the air. Damon having prepared something to the side with an dangerous fast blade, started to toil over the hob. His beautiful back was turned towards Elena and she drank her fill of his hard muscles, his pert bottom, his well sculpted arms, his powerful neck…

"See something you like?" – Damon was starring at her over his shoulder with his signature smirk.

He was teasing her like he always did, their banter a comfortable battling ground and he fully expected the blush that crept up her cheeks. What took him by surprise was her reply.

"If I said yes, how much trouble would I be in?" – She looked at him coyly.

Damon chuckled and shook his head delighted.

"No trouble until you finished eating." – he replied placing a mouth watering plate of eggs Benedictine, hash browns and fruits in front of her. Elena couldn't help but gape at the feast.

"Damon…" – she eyed him with wonder –"This looks fantastic!"

"It tastes even better." – he purred in her ear making her stomach do a somersault –"Tuck in. I'm going to grab my breakfast and will be back in a minute."

Elena nodded and turned her full attention to her food.

"And, Elena?" – Damon called out front the kitchen door

"Uh?"

"Once the food is over, _you will be in heaps of trouble_." – he smiled devilishly and wriggled his eyebrows at her before disappearing.

Elena swallowed dry looking at the spot he had vacated. The butterflies in her stomach doing acrobatic swoops and her mind reeling at the possibilities. She was torn between devouring the food in one go and savouring it, unable to remember if she had ever wanted to get into trouble so fricking fast in her life.

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**Hope you guys like it and that it was good enough to tie you up until I come back with more. R & R xoxo**


	10. Confession bites

**AN: Sorry guys that it has taken me so long to get back to this story. Between a severe case of the summer time blues and complete lack of inspiration time passed by. Hope you enjoy it.**

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**You better shut your mouth**

**Hold your breath**

**Kiss me now you'll catch your death**

**Oh, I mean it**

**Oh, I need this.**

"**Skin" – Nathalie Merchant**

* * *

Damon returned to the kitchen to find Elena devouring her food.

"I take it the food is good?"- he asked as he warmed up his cup of blood in the microwave.

"Very."- was all the response he got between mouthfuls.

A proud smile graced his lips as he watched her intently. When Elena was done with her food he approached her quietly from behind.

"Satisfied?"- he purred next to her ear making her melt on the inside at his velvety voice.

"Yes" – she breathed –"I mean, thank you, it was delicious Damon."

He kissed her cheek softly as he reached to take her plate away.

"You are welcomed babe." – he made to move away but Elena held his arm in place.

"Not so fast." – she turned to look at him – "You lied to me Damon…"

Damon looked down with a sigh.

"I know…and I am sorry Elena."- he said with emotion looking up at her - "Really sorry that I couldn't keep my mouth shut about how I felt." - he walked away to wash the dishes.

"I understand why you did it...But we could have talked." - she argued.

"I didn't want to burden you..." - he shook his head trying to concentrate on the soap instead of the pain in his chest -"I meant what I said...Stefan deserved you then... He was the good brother... I'm no good."

"You are perfect as you are Damon." - she said sadly.

"You keep repeating that and one day i might believe you." - he winked at her, emotional mask firmly back in place.

Elena shook her head and squared her shoulders before asking the next question.

"Was that the only time you used compulsion on me?" – she asked bluntly and watched Damon's back tense.

"No…"- he said quietly and she closed her eyes to keep it together.

"When?" – she asked meekly.

"When we first met." – Damon said turning around and leaning against the counter as he meet her eyes.

Elena's brow furrowed in confusion.

"When I came looking for Stefan and met you at the boarding house?"

"No." – Damon replied nervously –"That wasn't the first time we met."

"Silly me."- Elena replied angrily –"Why would I think that anything is like I really remember?"

"Elena."- Damon said as he approached her –"I am truly sorry but I didn't know you then!"

"Out with it!"- Elena hissed crossing her arms and jutting her chin out as he placed his hands on her arms.

"I met you on the night of the accident."

Elena's jaw slackened and her reaction was to pull away from him as if burned.

"Y-y-ou were with Stefan?" – she asked, her heart clenching painfully within her chest.

"What? No!" – Damon reached for her again, grabbing her shoulders firmly –"I met you when you were waiting for your parents. When you were talking to Bonnie on the phone about Matt."

"Ok…"- Elena said uncertainly –"Why did you make me forget?"- her voice got quieter –"Did you do something bad?"-her hand instinctively reached for her neck.

"No. Nothing like that Elena." – he said pleadingly –"I swear I didn't touch you. I compelled you because at the time I didn't want people knowing I was in town yet."

"Is that really all?" – she asked dubiously cocking her head.

"Yes."- he said firmly –"And if you allow me I will unlock the memory."

Elena's hand automatically went to her neck to touch her vervain necklace, only now remembering that she had removed it for her walkabout.

She nodded minutely and watched as Damon's pupil's dilated.

"You will remember the night we first met"

Elena gasped as the images started flooding her mind together with an all encompassing longing for Damon that crept into every fiber of her body as she looked at him with new eyes. Eyes that were no longer blind or debilitated by the fog of memory, compulsion and lies. Eyes that understood their story, their interactions better, clearer than ever before. Finally Elena had an explanation for the sense of loss that she couldn't quite place since the night of the accident, the sense of loss that she had associated to the death of her parents but that was all about the man in front of her.

"I remember…"- she whispered in a daze –"Your voice, your eyes, your words."

Damon smiled sheepishly.

"The longing in your eyes when you thought I was Katherine…" – Damon tensed- "The surprise when you realized that I wasn't." – she smiled a little –"You gave me butterflies in my stomach." – she giggled and Damon joined her –"Even then we had this banter going on."- she said in amazement –"Why didn't you attack me?"- Elena asked confused.

"I liked you from the first moment I realized that you were _not _her." – he said simply.

"You liked the babbling teenager that looked like the queen bitch that broke your heart?" – Elena said incredulously.

"You were charming Elena…and so trusting." – he answered caressing her cheek – "How could I not fall for you?"

"I felt so…so comfortable around you…" - she said in awe searching his eyes

"I felt the connection too Lena."

"I even flirted with you!"- she bit out horrified.

"True"- he answered with a devilish smirk –"But I returned it in kind."

"Damon…"- Elena replied blushing.

"Elena…" – he replied wiggling his brows suggestively.

"You mesmerized me that night." – she said quietly.

"And you captivated me."- he whispered caressing her face soothingly.

"A love that consumes me…" – Elena inhaled sharply repeating his words – "Passion and adventure and even a little danger." – she looked at Damon longingly – "You didn't drink from me…you didn't press your advantage…"

"You started changing me even back then babe."- Damon leaned in to rest his forehead against hers, one hand pressed on the counter at her side, the other caressing her cheek.

"You met me…dazzled me… spoke my thoughts aloud and then… and then you vanished…" – Elena whispered brokenly as tears trailed down her cheeks.

"I know…"- he said sadly –"I can't change what I have done Elena…"- Damon acknowledged lifting her chin –"But we can work on getting things right from now on."

"You let me hate you Damon…"

"When I met you the second time you were not the same girl Elena."- Damon eyes begged her to understand –"You were broken by your losses and infatuated with my little brother."

"I knew no better." - she pleaded in her defense.

"I know that love… But you must understand that from the very beginning all I wished for you was for you to be happy. At that time Stefan made you happy…Then he turned you against me and the drama ensued."- Damon sighed heavily –"I wanted you to come to me naturally…To see that what we shared was bigger and more resilient that the puppy love you and Stefan shared."- he shrugged –"I guess I am just a foolish romantic masochistic idiot after all." – he chuckled without humour.

"Don't." – Elena bit out reaching for his face –"Don't twist this…let me find my way back to you…" – with that Elena leaned in and placed the softest of kisses on his lips - "We can do this Damon." – she whispered as her forehead leaned on his and her hands flattened against his chest.

"I know we can sweetheart."- Damon acknowledged, wrapping his arms around Elena as if to protect her from her own heartache.

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**AN: I hope it was worth the wait. Review if you can! xoxo**


	11. Moving on

**AN: Wrapping up this story is proving harder than I thought... My muse is muddled and my heart is not a 100% in it for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with the story itself. I wrote this chapter and have been holding on to it because I am not sure it carries the same quality as the others and/or if it remains true to the story. I will await your reviews and trust you to let me know. xoxo**

* * *

**"I come to you now when I need you, (...)**  
**I always try to do this on my own but I was wrong cause only with you can I move on. (...)**

**When I am weak it's you that makes ****me strong,**  
**and I know that you've been with me all along,**  
**so many times I begin to close my eyes and listen to my heart,**  
**with you life is so easy why do I ****make it hard, **  
**oh takin roads that lead me nowhere how do I expect to get there when will I Learn to just put you first.**

**I get out of my own way, let you have your way.  
Cause I realize Im no good on my own,  
I'm there for you, (...)  
I can't live without you. Nooo"**

Bruno Mars - Move On

* * *

After their heartfelt conversation in the kitchen, Damon and Elena moved to the couch in front of the fireplace. He sat at one end fully expecting her to sit at the other. Damon was pleasantly surprised when the young girl sat next to him and leaned on his shoulder as if she had been doing it forever.

As the hours passed and their conversation carried on, they moved around each other and settled more comfortably. Elena found her self leaning more and more against his chest, eventually propping herself on her elbow to better look at him and steal sweet kisses from time to time. Damon reveled in these little gifts and his hands would alternate between playing with her hair or caressing some part or other of her body. It was all very respectable, sweet and innocent, contrasting greatly with what Elena had expected from the older vampire.

Elena had been prepared for Damon to press his advantage the moment their lips had first touched. In truth, she had practically counted on him going all primeval and pressing her against the wall, clothes unceremoniously ripped from her body as he consumed her. To say that she was surprised by this unexpected sweet side Damon was showing would have been the understatement of the century.

Damon seemed content with kissing her softly, with holding her and enjoying the novelty of this close proximity. It suddenly struck Elena how many times Damon had proven to her that he understood her and that this was no different. Damon wouldn't rush her, he would give her the opportunities and the chances, he would tease and tempt, but he would let _her_ make all the final moves. Elena smiled contentedly, the man in her arms was the wolf but also the rational hare, eager and loving, accepting of her as she was. Why had it taken her so long to see him for who he was would always baffle her.

The sun rays reached the couch, making Elena stretch like a lazy kitten as she hid her face in Damon's shoulder.

"I guess we have to eventually get up, get dressed and get on with life." - she pouted against the fabric covering his skin.

"I guess..." - he said chuckling wistfully as he caressed her bottom lip with his thumb - "Or... we could stay like this forever..." - he smiled sweetly down at her and she almost drowned in his eyes.

"You would like that."- she smiled back teasingly.

"Hmmm" - he purred and leaned in to give her another sweet kiss - "I don't want this to end..." - he said emotion betraying his stoic demeanor.

"Damon..." - Elena warned frowning.

"Elena?" - he drawled trying to hide his insecurities with humor.

"This, _you and I_, is not at an end, it's at the beginning."- she looked at him worriedly and watched him tense - "Do you understand what I am saying?"

"You might have to spell it out this time Elena..." - he said looking down - "We wouldn't want any confusion..."

Elena harshly took hold of his chin and yanked it up so he would look at her.

"What I am saying Damon is that _if_ you will have me,"- she searched his eyes -"then _I am yours._"

Damon reached for her face, his hand tangling in her hair, his eyes glinting with emotions.

"You mean it? Really mean it?" - he looked at her with so much hope and love that Elena wanted to swear eternal love and gush sentimental nonsense like a babbling fool.

"I mean it Damon." - she replied instead.

"For how long?" - was his next baffling question.

"What do you mean?" She sat up startled.

"You know full well what I mean Elena." - he said a little annoyed -"I know this, us, is all brand new but..." - he took a deep breath and sat up to face her - "You say that you are mine and God knows there is nothing I want more in the universe than having you." - his hands tangled around hers -"But you know I am not good at letting go... So do take me out of my misery and tell me how long I have with you please?" - he begged brokenly.

Elena looked at the man in front of her, the man that had always been on her side and at her side even when she didn't know it. She took in how much it had cost him to be so loyal, how much it was costing him to be this honest and open. Her heart sank a little further, the words trying to order themselves in her head, trying to find balance between the logic in her brain and the sentiments of her soul. Damon waited patiently, but every second seemed to dim the brightness in his eyes.

"Damon... I need time..." - she said quietly and could see the sadness coloring his features.

"I understand."- he said defeated as he tried to remove his hands from hers.

"I don't think you do." - she answered with a resolve that made him look up at her - "Damon, I need time because _I will_ consider, _truly consider_, turning to be with you." - she said softly.

Damon's eyes went wide, his jaw slackened, his hands trembled and words failed him.

"Y-y-you will?" - he managed with effort.

"Yes, I will _seriously_ consider it." - she said soothingly caressing his cheek -"I just need time."

"B-but Stefan said you were strongly against turning." - he said aghast.

"That was then." - she replied as she leaned to rest her forehead against his - "I didn't have you then and I didn't feel the way I feel now." - she sighed -"I love you Damon. I really do..."

Damon nodded minutely, as shell shocked as he could get.

"I love you too..." - he whispered - "Whatever you choose, you have me Elena."

"And you have me Damon." - she sealed her lips over his softly them squared her shoulders and tried to make light of the heavy moment - "So lets attend to some pressing matters shall we?"

"Such as?"- he wiggled his brows fully catching on with her mood change game.

"Lets get up, lets get ready and lets go meet Stefan and Caroline." - she said somewhat angrily - "I have a relationship to bury and some answers that need to be _unburied_ pronto. Are you ok with that?"

"As you wish Miss Gilbert." - Damon smiled lasciviously.

"And then" - Elena purred - "I'm ready to get into that trouble you promised me Mr Salvatore."- she eyed him coyly.

"I'm ok with that too." - he purred back, nipping playfully at the skin on her neck.

"Oh don't you start!" - she moaned -"We have places to go, people to see..."

"So you say babe..." - Damon replied huskily as he kissed her lower and lower and lower...

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**AN: So what do you guys think? Tell me, tell me, xoxo**


	12. Mine

**AN: OMG! IT"S TVD THURSDAY AGAIN! Am I the only one counting the minutes? Ok, as you all know I had rather hoped to end this story before the new TVD season started. My silly muse had other plans and decided to leave you all wanting more smut and then promised you all a Stefan and Elena face off... So this has become the never ending story, sigh... Never mind, might as well appreciate the journey right? xoxo**

* * *

As Damon drove towards the Gilbert cabin, Elena couldn't stifle her giggles at his crossed expression, earning her the occasional glare from the vampire in question.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" - she would half heartily apologize between one giggle outburst and the other.

"You _should_ be, little miss tease."- he sneered.

"I know..." - she said biting her lower lip coyly - "To be honest I didn't want to stop either Damon."

"Then _why_ did you?" - he almost barked the question at her.

"You know why..." - she replied taken a little aback but looking out of the window to pretend it was not a big deal.

"Stefan..." - he acknowledged wryly as he tightened his hands around the wheel.

Elena tensed, wondering for just how long his brother would hang as a ghost in between them.

"Yes and..." - she started feebly.

"Will it always be Stefan for you Elena?" - Damon bit out.

"What?"- she answered aghast - "No Damon! Didn't I make it clear?" - she challenged exasperated.

"_Actions_ sometimes speak louder than words Elena." - he looked at her with piercing eyes -"And you chose to _stop_ the action, didn't you?" - he dared her to deny it.

"Seriously?" - she huffed - "It's that what this is about?! I didn't "_stop_ the action""- Elena made air quotes -"Because I didn't want "the action" to go on _or_ even because of Stefan!" - she practically screamed.

The car swerved abruptly to the hard shoulder and Elena had to brace herself as Damon slammed on the breaks.

"**_So what the fuck did you stop it for Elena?!_**" - he bellowed wildly as he stared her down

"**Because** I want to do _this_" - she motioned between them angrily - "I want to do _us_ properly Damon!" - she hissed - "_I don't want anything to be unresolved!_ I don't want Stefan accusing **_you_** of stealing the girl or **_me_ **of being unfaithful. **Why can't you understand that?!**"- she screamed at the top of her lungs, flushing red with anger and emotion.

Damon glared at her with narrowed eyes and Elena could see the anger boiling in his veins, the passion bubbling up, the tension rolling off him in waves. He leaned in slowly, predatorily and dangerous. Elena's hairs stood on end and her breath caught as her heart threatened to burst out of her chest.

"What _you_ don't seem to understand _little_ _girl,_"- he said eerily calm, his breath hot against her trembling lips - "Is how much _I want you_ **_right fucking now_**." - he hissed and Elena gasped, caught in a frisson of fear and desire.

"Then have me..." - she breathed her eyes never wavering from his.

Damon growled and his vampiric facade started to show. He took a deep calming breath and closed his eyes to steady himself.

"_Do __**not**__ tease me Elena_..." - he whispered low and deep as his form towered over her - "_I will not be teased_."

Elena nodded stiffly, eyes wide, biting her lower lip nervously and inching her hands down to her waistline. Her eyes never leaving Damon's, she undid her jeans and shimmied them down her legs revealing her lacy underwear. If the air surrounding them hadn't been so tense, Elena would have laughed at the way Damon's brows knit as he tried to remain impassive and in control of his impulses. She had been right all along, it was up to her to make the final move. Her hands trembled slightly as she removed her top over her head and was left only in her underwear, which for some reason made it even harder for her to breathe.

Damon observed Elena's actions with an air of detachment he truly did not feel. He had desired this girl for so long, for too long, that it was physically painful not to reach for her and take full advantage of her undressed state. Call it pride, call it vulnerability, call it what you like, but Damon knew that the last move _had to be_ hers. It was fundamental, it was essential, that Elena be the one to give herself to him if they wanted to quell any lingering doubts in both their minds. So there he stood, watching this slip of a girl undress, revealing large expanses of mouth watering skin. Smelling her arousal and the adrenaline running through her veins. Listening to her thundering heart and little breaths. Holding on by a tread to his control waiting for her to make her move...

Somewhat shyly, somewhat awkwardly given the cramped space, Elena did move and climbed onto Damon's lap. He remained motionless, now more out of shock than resolve, as her legs caged his waist and her hands descended on his face over the veins apparent on his cheeks. As Elena's fingers traced the veins they became more and more prominent as if together with Damon's fangs they heeded her siren's call. He watched as Elena's features filled with wonder and her eyes with desire at his transformation.

"You are beautiful..."- she whispered.

With a sigh of deep longing, Damon's hands slowly molded themselves to her behind, feeling he soft skin and grazing the lace of her underwear. Elena watched him carefully for his reactions as she pressed her core to his own. As she was met by a hardness under his jeans she smiled that self satisfied Petrova smile and Damon hissed both at the sensation and in recognition. He tightened his grip on her body, making Elena smirk even more seductively as she ran her hand up and down his bulge.

"Tease..." - he mumbled with a smirk of his own that didn't have as much bravado as he wanted.

Elena smiled and leaned in, her hand reaching down and making quick work of his jeans.

"Am I really?" - she purred into his ear as she firmly grabbed his member, gave it two slow pumps and used her thumb to massage his head with its pre-cum.

Damon's hips buckled up automatically, his head falling back at the sensation of finally crossing that invisible barrier between flirting friends and lovers. It was as if the weigh of the world had fallen from his shoulders.

His hand snaked to the nape of her head, tightly winding in her slinky air and tugged her back harshly.

"Mine?" - he hissed looking down into her eyes and tightening his grip on her hair.

"Yours..." - Elena acknowledged and it was all he needed before he pulled her flush against him and gave her the most soul consuming, passionate kiss of her existence.

Elena's hands clawed at his chest , at his neck, at his hair, desperate for more contact. Panting from lack of oxygen but high on desire, her lips and tongue matched Damon's in their desperate rhythm until he pulled her head back again.

Damon locked eyes with Elena, looking at her appraisingly. Her eyes were pools of need, her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen and her chest heaving. He would swear that he had never seen a sight as magnificent as her in his life. Damon's eyes narrowed as he ran his thumb over her ruby lips. Elena smiled as she nipped playfully at it making Damon growl and her revel in having the power of making him react. As if to remind her of who was in charge, he tightened his grip on her hair as he trailed a finger from her lips to her neck, to the plunge off her breasts and stopped at the band of her pretty bra.

Damon cocked his head to the side with a mischievous smile that caught Elena's breath. Then, without warning, he simply ripped the band in two and freed her breasts. Elena gasped in indignation, she actually liked that bra, but her words were drowned by his.

"Mine?" - he leered.

When Elena only continued to frown, Damon ripped the rest of the garment of her and latched to her left nipple with an intensity that made her legs tremble.

"Oh my god!" - Elena managed between pants, digging her hands into his raven locks as she rubbed her core mindlessly against his erection.

Damon lifted his head and waited for the shaking girl to look at him.

"Mine." - he repeated with a self satisfied smirk.

"Yours." - she answered tremulously as she felt his hands continue in their path downwards.

Elena's body decided to forgo breathing in anticipation of his touch. As Damon's hand traveled sensuously over her rib cage and over the valley of her belly toward the edge of her panties, all Elena could do was stare at his blue eyes. Every nerve end in her body was on edge, like a loaded gun ready to release and explode. She felt the tell tale sign of Damon's had tightening in her hair and took an instinctive deep breath as he ripped her panties sides with the same disregard as he had showed her bra.

This time, instead of bringing her to him, he pushed her back against the wheel. His hand finally letting go of her hair to graze down her right side on its path to join the other. Elena looked on mesmerized as his hands passed the ripped edges of her panties and traveled on to her legs, coaxing them up so that they rested no longer on the seat but on Damon's shoulder. Elena felt rather than saw the driver's chair be pushed back and she relaxed as much as she could against the wheel.

Till this very moment Damon's eyes had never left her, he kept her trapped in his spell, a willing sacrificial lamb literally dying to be slaughtered. Elena's hand nervously caressed circles on Damon's knee but no other part of her dared to move, not even her stare.

Damon smiled lasciviously at her before dropping his gaze to her core. Elena's body tensed, shaking beyond her control.

"Shhh" - he said soothingly, wearing a kinder expression as he looked up at her and then down again.

Damon picked up the dainty ripped fabric with his fingers and gently pulled it forward to reveal her wet center. He sighed with content, absentmindedly licking his lips with desire and inching a shaky finger carefully towards her sex. He looked up at Elena then, both their eyes full of a primal need to quench this long burning fire they had always shared for each other.

"Mine?"- he croaked.

Through heavy eye lids Elena nodded and whispered.

"Yours Damon, all yours."

His answering smile was dazzling, and Elena would have lost her self in it had it not been combined with the start of the most mind blowing caresses to her folds. Damon's talented fingers seemed to be everywhere. Parting her lips, squeezing her nub, teasing her entrance, plunging into her core... Elena would let disjointed words spill from her mouth as he caressed her, stretched her and coaxed her into a galloping orgasm.

"Ah ah ah Da-mon!" - she finally screeched in a falsetto, becoming boneless in his arms.

Damon pulled her face to his and started kissing her sensuously in her post orgasmic haze. Elena response was disjointed but eager, letting him bring her in and overload her senses. She felt the presence of his fingers at her clit, a singing sensation burning her core, she felt his hands back at her nape as a pressure made itself known at her entrance. Damon tugged at her hair and she opened her eyes to see his silent question.

"Yours." -she whispered with devotion, inclining her head to expose her neck, in a sign of total surrender.

Elena was almost sure she heard him catch his breath, but all thoughts left her the minute he started to bury himself into her core, inch by possessive inch.

When Damon was all the way inside of her, making her feel deliciously full and stretched, Elena felt his wet kiss on her jugular. His tongue laving at the spot, making her insides tingle and sizzle.

"Mine..." - he whispered with so much emotion that even the sharp pain of his fangs piercing her skin could not sour the sweetness of this joining of souls.

* * *

**AN: I hope that satiated the smut need :) Let me know how you liked this chapter ok? xoxo **


	13. Be still: ends & beginnings are here

**AN: ***long drawn out sign*** We have reached the end my dear readers. So I want to take the opportunity to thank each and everyone of you for coming along on this journey with me. I am thankful for every pair of eyes that bothered to read this story, and grateful to those who took the time to share their thoughts and their feelings with me. I am sorry to see this story end but it is about time for it to come to a close. There will not be an epilogue after this because I think is fair to leave your imagination free to reach it's own conclusions. So here it is, the final chapter, enjoy! xoxo**

* * *

_(...) Nobody knows what lies ahead_  
_And life is short_  
_To say the least_  
_We're in the belly of the beast_  
_Be still_  
_Wild and young_

_may your limits be unknown_

_Don't break character_  
_You've got a lot of heart_

_Be still_  
_One day you'll leave_  
_Fearlessness on your sleeve_  
_When you've come back, tell me what did you see_  
_What did you see_  
_Was there something out there for me?_

_And if they drag you through the mud_  
_It doesn't change what's in your blood_

_Rise up like the sun"_

The Killers "Be still"

* * *

Damon and Elena arrived at her parents cabin after sunset. The darkness surrounding the place was in direct contrast to the sunny Fall days she had once spent with Stefan in this very same place.

Elena unbuckled her seat belt in a rush and reached to open her door but a firm hand clamped on her forearm stopping her. Elena turned around looking first at the restraining hand then at the hand's owner with a quizzical look. Damon's eyes were narrowed as he just looked at her with piercing blue eyes, tension emanating from every pore.

Before Damon could utter a word, his head snapped up and Elena looked to see Caroline's silhouette framed by the open cabin door. Elena took a deep breath and tried to tug her arm away from Damon's possessive hold. When he wouldn't let go she turned to look back at him frustrated.

"What is it?" - she glared.

"Maybe this is a bad idea." - he said tersely.

"Seriously?!" - she said unbelieving - "It's a bit late for that now Damon and please let go of my arm."- she warned.

With a grim expression he did as she asked.

"Elena..."

"**No.**" - she bit out -"_Do not_ "Elena" me. I am doing this _and I am doing it now._"

With a huff she opened the door and pushed her self off the seat, marching purposely towards the front door.

"Elena?" - Caroline asked not quite understanding why her friend was so angry.

"Where is he?"- Elena hissed as she pushed past Caroline.

Damon, who was hot in Elena's step just shrugged at the blonde as he followed both girls inside.

Elena burst into the TV room like a cobra ready to strike to find a suitably brooding looking Stefan. He got up when he saw her, a welcoming smile that died on his lips when he took in her angry stance. Elena flung her self at him and started pummeling her little fists against his chest with as much force as she could muster.

"How could you? How could you let them die?" - she was shrieking between sobs as everyone watched stupefied.

Stefan was shocked at first but suddenly he let out a deep growl and before Damon or Caroline could react he had harshly pinned Elena against the nearest wall.

"_You slept with him Elena?!_ How could you do that to us?" - he snarled menacingly before being flung away to the other side of the room by Damon.

"**You** _do not get to touch her_ brother."- Damon growled.

Caroline rushed to Stefan's side, more to keep him away from Elena than to defend him. Damon stood protectively in front of her friend and somehow it made sense to her to keep Stefan calm.

"_There is no us Stefan!_" - Elena shouted over Damon's shoulder -"Not after what you've done _you heartless monster_!"- she screeched, only Damon's body stopping her from attacking Stefan again.

Stefan stood up affronted, clearly angry and ready to attack.

"_You_ **sleep** with my brother and _I_ am the heartless monster _you little double crossing bitch_?"

the sound of a slap echoed of the cabin walls as Caroline's indignant hand met with Stefan's cheek.

"Don't you dare" - she glared at him -"Don't be a sore looser Stefan."

"Kids, kids, kids"- a sultry voice brought them all short, adding to the tension in the air - "I can't leave you alone for a second can I?" - Katherine stood in the doorway looking highly amused at the scene in front of her.

"Is anyone going to invite me in?" - she looked down at her nails in a bored manner.

"What are you doing here Katherine?" - Damon asked annoyed -"You are not wanted."

"I called her..." - Stefan admitted sheepishly.

"Why? Why would you do that?"- both Caroline and Elena asked him and Damon glared at his brother as if he was short a marble or two.

"Because I had Elijah compel him to do so a while back?"- Katherine provided innocently.

"What are you up to Katherine?"- Damon interjected.

"Trust me Damon,"- she smiled at him disdainfully -"when I am up to something you will be the last to know."

Damon's answering grimace made Elena reach for his hand protectively. From the other side of the room Stefan leaned in threatening but Caroline placed her hand on his shoulder as a warning.

"So_ why are you here_?" - Elena asked.

"I am actually here to help. So invite me in already will you Elena?" - Katherine said tiredly.

Elena looked at Damon and he nodded tersely.

"Please come in Katherine." - Elena said sourly.

"So sweet of you to ask my dear." - she quipped back -"Now you." - she looked down at Stefan -"Come sit by me."

"No thanks." - Stefan replied with disgust.

"Do as I ask. It is not for my benefit, it is for yours dearest."- she said with sarcasm -"It will make it easier to protect you until I clear this all out. So stop brooding and do as I ask." - she hissed.

Stefan's eyes narrowed but he walked over and sat sullenly next to his maker all the same.

"Blondie, Damon and sweet Elena, please sit down over there."

"Since when do you give the orders around here?" - Caroline asked affronted.

"Since forever, Blondie."- she winked amused-"But let's just say that in this case, since Elijah shared a bit of intel that is key to diffusing this tense little situation."

Since she left no room for argument, everyone sat obediently and Katherine felt like she could finally start sorting this mess out.

"You see, I asked Elijah to compel Stefan to call me if Elena ever exhibited a physical aversion to him." - everyone looked at her confused, no one more confused than Stefan -"Which I assume happened because little miss sunshine finally found Stefan's darkest secret."

"What are you talking about?" - Stefan growled frustrated -"She knows I was a ripper!"

Katherine rolled her eyes at the same time as Damon did, then patted Stefan's leg condescendingly.

"It turns out you are a lot more deviant than any of us knew."

"You knew?" - Elena asked angrily.

"She knew." - Damon bit out.

"I only learned about it recently." - Katherine lifted her hands in lazy surrender -"Elijah told me at the time he had me locked in the tomb." - she sighed - "Just after Elena reminded me that I didn't have many friends left."

Everyone looked at her suspiciously as Katherine, never one to shy away from the limelight, went on.

"Had he told me before that day I would have used the information to create maximum damage." - she said wistfully as she smiled -"As it was I decided to trust fate in the hopes that this would never surface for your sake Elena."

Damon raised an eyebrow, Elena gasped in surprise and even Caroline felt her jaw unhinge.

"You held on to damaging information for my sake?"- Elena said incredulously.

"I know right?"- Katherine said amused -"Who knew that I could be charmed too?"

"Riddles and enigmas Kat." - Damon interrupted -"Tell us what this is all about."- he urged.

"You could be a bit more magnanimous Damon, considering that you _obviously_ got the girl." - Katherine poked looking pointedly at Elena and Damon's joined hands.

Stefan tensed next to her as Damon couldn't help returning a winning smile.

"Is this true Elena?" - Stefan asked in a panic -"You really chose him?!"

"Not now Stefan."- Katherine said soothingly -"Sweet Elena is very angry with you and you need to learn why before you go pleading for her to take you back, ok?"

"Urrgh!"- Caroline huffed -"Just tell us already! You are giving me a migraine!"

"Ok, ok!" - Katherine appeased -"Once I knew the truth I made Elijah compel Stefan here to send me the bat signal in case Elena ever found out."

"How could I not?" - Elena asked exasperated.

"We'll, if my boys succeeded at keeping you human it should have been fine. I never counted on Damon messing with your brain to unlock it!" - she said defensively.

Damon rolled his eyes at the accusation.

"What did you compel her to forget?" - Caroline asked Katherine.

"Not me dearest, Stefan did."

"I did not!" - Stefan stood up suddenly -"I never compelled you Elena... Never..." - he pled.

"Sit down Stefan."- Katherine asked kindly when her doppelganger ignored his plea -"Well, to make this short..."

"Too late" - Damon bit back annoyed but Katherine chose to ignore him and went on with her monologue.

"You all know how I have been evading a royally pissed Klaus through the ages." - she said with some pride - "Well, he found out how fond I was of the Salvatore's boys." - she shrugged - "I took pains to hide my trail, make the boys think that I was dead and even if Damon was persistent in his search for me," - she glared at the older brother -"I knew he wouldn't succeed. Klaus concluded that only one reason would keep me away from my boys. he realized I must be in love with at least one if not both of them."- she shifted uncomfortably on the couch as the boys in question looked at her with wide eyes -"Oh don't look so surprised!"- she bit back annoyed crossing her arms in defiance.

"Anyway...Ever the patient man, Klaus decided to hedge his bets and compel Stefan to find _the_ doppelganger and let he know when he did."

"But I..." - Stefan started.

"He compelled you Stefan." - Katherine said firmly - "So when you saw _the_ doppelganger talking to Damon on the fateful night of your parents death Elena..."

Damon's head snapped up in surprise as understanding hit him and Elena like a freight train.

"He assumed that I was you..." - she breathed.

"Not exactly, he was ordered to find _the_ doppelganger and he assumed he was seeing _the_ doppelganger and he was right. You are a doppelganger, but you are not me." - Katherine said sadly -"At that time no one knew you existed... So, the compulsion took over and Stefan acted."

"What did I do?" - Stefan looked at Katherine horrified.

"Stefan, I do not think that you knew the consequences of your actions. I do not think you intended to do harm."

"Katherine..." - he plead brokenly -"Tell me the truth."

On the other side of the room Elena braced herself for the words, reaching for Caroline's hand and squeezing Damon's tighter.

"You put yourself in front of her parents car Stefan... You caused the accident." - Katherine said miserably as Caroline gasped and Stefan wailed.

"No..., no, I wouldn't do that!"- Stefan stood up shaking her head violently, pacing from side to side.

"Is this true?" - Caroline asked Elena as Damon held her tight in his arms - "Oh my God it is!" - Caroline screeched reading the answer in her friend's eyes -" Stefan killed your parents?! He killed uncle Grayson and aunt Miranda?" - she babbled in shock.

"He didn't save them from drowning Elena because _you were the only thing he was compelled_ to care for." - Katherine said in Stefan's defense -"You understand don't you? He didn't have a choice."

Stefan kept wailing, Elena kept sobbing, Caroline babbling and Katherine consoling. Damon looked around at all the shattering hearts in the room, he exchanged a knowing look with Katherine before bending down to whisper in Elena's ear. She nodded and Damon kissed her head before transferring the crying girl to Caroline's arms. The two girls held to each other like life rafts in miserable companionship.

Damon stood up and walked over to his brother as Katherine got up to go over to the girls. Damon kneeled in front of Stefan and waited until his younger brother looked up. The pain in Stefan's eyes was crippling, the guilt was clearly overwhelming him. Damon gave a stiff nod and placed a placating hand on his brother's shoulder.

"You couldn't have known Stefan..." - he said tenderly.

"It doesn't change what happened." - Stefan mumbled bitterly.

"No it doesn't..." - Damon acknowledged dejectedly.

"She must hate me...God, she must hat me so much..." - Stefan whimpered as he looked towards his ex- girlfriend.

"She needs time... time to adjust... and so do you." - Damon said in a placating tone but Stefan shook his head.

"Take her away from here Damon... Take care of her, help her heal... she's precious ... she doesn't deserve this." - he sobbed - "Help her forget..."

"I will...But I also teach her to forgive brother. Do you understand?" - Damon said with emotion.

"Not for my sake brother..."

"For all our sakes, yours inclusive Stefan." - Damon looked into Stefan's eyes with intent and his brother nodded.

"You take care of _your girl_ Damon." - Stefan said offering the olive branch.

Damon couldn't help but smile a little.

"Sorry... We didn't mean to hurt you." - he said quietly and repentant.

"I know... Sometimes you can't stop love..."- Stefan offered cheerlessly.

"True... So maybe it's also time you gave true love a chance?" - Damon whispered as he cast a meaningful look to where Katherine stood consoling the younger girls.

"She did good..."- Stefan chuckled humorlessly.

"I never thought I would see the day... But yeah she did... So maybe she deserves a new chance?"- Damon asked tentatively.

"Maybe..." -Stefan conceded.

As Damon made a move to get up Stefan reached for his arm.

"Keep me informed?" - he asked with big sad eyes.

"I will let you know he she is." - Damon promised.

"About both of you Damon. _Both of you_, ok?"- Stefan asked beseechingly.

"Sure thing brother." - Damon smiled with emotion as he got up - "And Stef, don't brood too much. There was nothing you could have done about it. You know that right?"

Stefan nodded in acknowledgement of Damon's kind words but not totally convinced of the truth in them.

"And keep an eye out for Barbie over there." - Caroline looked up eyeing Damon quizzically - "I mean, I wouldn't want to have to explain to Elena that something happened to her BFF." - Damon quipped and winked at the frowning vampire girl.

Caroline beamed at him with watery eyes as Damon came towards them.

"Hey babe..." - he asked in a hushed tone to a teary eyed Elena - "Are you ready to leave?"

Elena nodded untangled herself from Katherine and Caroline's arms and reaching out for his hands. Damon pulled her in and wrapped her in a protective embrace. He nodded to Caroline and mouthed a heartfelt thank you to Katherine before turning around towards the door. Just before leaving the house Elena stopped on her tracks making Damon eyed her wearily. She couldn't leave the house without saying goodbye to Stefan, it simply wasn't who, but she couldn't bring her self to look at him either.

Elena took a deep breath and unhooked herself from Damon's arms but not before tangling her fingers firmly in his. With her back turned to the room she spoke softly but with conviction.

"Stefan?"- she asked quietly.

"Elena?" - he answered in wonder that she would address him.

"I understand it is not your fault... But it will take a while for my heart to understand this and for me to deal with this pain..."

"I understand Elena..." - the voice of the boy she once loved more than life brought fresh tears to her eyes - "Just as you didn't intend to hurt me, please believe when I say that we didn't intend to hurt you either..."

"I know..." - Stefan replied sorrowfully.

"I am with Damon now." - she said firmly looking deep into the older brother's eyes -" But it is not as a punishment for what you have done." - Elena said with conviction more to Damon than Stefan -"It is because I love him...even if the timing sucks..."

"It's ok Elena...be happy... just be happy." - Stefan replied heartbrokenly.

"Thank you... All of you... Thank you." - Elena said as she walked past the door of the house that held so many memories for her. The grief of all the losses, of all the drama and turmoil hit her squarely on her chest crushing her heart painfully under its weight.

She gave Caroline one last look, hoping it conveyed all the love she fell for the blonde girl. Her friend stood in the doorway waiting to see them leave.

"I'll see you soon Care." - Elena whispered as she got herself in the car.

"Damon?" - Elena asked when he sat behind the wheel and turned the car on.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Take me away? Please take me someplace far from here?"

Damon nodded and extended his hand to caress her cheek.

"Do you want to stop by your house first?"

Elena shook her head vehemently as she unhooked the necklace Stefan gave her from her neck. She lowered her window.

"Caroline? Catch!"

The blonde girl caught the piece of jewelry with some regret, knowing what it signified to her best friend. She gave Elena a tentative smile before waving goodbye and turning towards the house.

"Drive Damon." - Elena whispered - "To anywhere, to any place where it can be only you and me for a while."

"Will you call Jeremy?" - he asked trying to disguise his fondness for the young boy.

"From the road..." - she answered smiling a little -"And Damon?"

"Yes?" - he asked, his eyes wide and bluer than she had ever seen.

"My answer is yes."

Damon slammed in the breaks and looked at her expectantly.

"You mean?"

"Yep." - she replied in an attempt for levity - "I will turn for you."

Elena shrieked when Damon pulled her roughly into his arms and started peppering kisses all over her face.

"You just made me the happiest creature alive Elena!" - he beamed as let go of her.

Elena smiled warmly at him, thinking how it was possible to find such joy in the middle of so much grief. But that was exactly how she had fallen in love with the vampire. Grief was all around her and he was the eternal comic relief, the loyal defender of her lost causes, the one that made her see the good things when everything else was bleak.

Elena was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't see Damon's features change. So she was startled Elena when he bit down on his wrist and offered the gaping would at her.

"Why?" - she asked confused.

"Insurance." - he quipped wiggling his eye brows -"Against you reneging on your offer _or_ against my driving. You choose." - He shrugged.

Elena smiled shaking her head. How could he be so infuriating and so dam wonderful at the same time?

She pulled Damon's wrist towards her, eyeing the man in question somewhat hungrily. When she gave his wound the first lick, both their bodies felt the electric current burn their veins. As she drank, Elena made little nonsensical noises in response to Damon's purrs. A shiver of mythical proportions running down her back when a word escaped his lips.

"Mine..."

**_The sweet end_**

* * *

**AN: I really hope you liked it! If you can, drop me a note and tell me what you thought! xoxo**


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